JBA is five! 🎂

Five years ago this week I closed the door on my flat, job and life in London and made a one-way trip up the M6 home to Cumbria. I cried nearly all the way, although I couldn’t tell what I felt - perhaps all of relief, grief, fear, excitement and joy.

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Saying goodbye to 87A

If you’d asked me to tell you then what I hoped to achieve, I’d probably have said something like ‘not to fail’ - my confidence and capacity for challenge were pretty low. The things I didn’t know about what I wanted to do or the kind of life it might be possible to have were so numerous that it was a bit like asking a fish what its hopes are for its new life as a duck.

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From my first evening back in Cumbria

I’m a person of big ambitions, hard work and stubborn determination (aka at times rejection of reality!), but I often fear to name or shape the ambitions in case I can’t achieve them. I definitely wouldn’t have told you that in five years I hoped I’d have a full coaching practice, a beautiful book, a second business, my Mountain Leader qualification, or to be half way through a Masters degree. I also didn’t expect to have had a stand at the National Running Show, to be coaching partner for Lakeland Trails, to have delivered a webinar for the Spine Race and spoken on the Runners World podcast, or to be invited to collaborate with Into Ultra.

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All of that has happened because someone has believed in and supported me, whether as a friend, a client or a colleague (many people are two and occasionally all three of those!). I’m most grateful of all to my earliest clients (lots of whom are still with me, including my first-ever athlete), who took a chance on a coach with little experience. I’m very lucky to have worked with so many kind, collaborative, thoughtful people who help me as much as I help them.

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The cover of the Lake District Trail and Fell Running Guide, shot by Danielle Ledbury

I was unprepared at the start for what coaching is really all about. Coach education is heavy on metabolic systems, session structure and drills. There’s some inter- and intrapersonal stuff in there too, but there’s a limit to how much you can do in four days. It’s an extreme version of learning to drive - you’re quickly let loose ‘qualified’ without any L-plates, and it’s time to figure out how to actually do it in the real world. Coaching at its best is about relationships; it’s about learning to support, engage with and enable people - all that looks different for each person. Perhaps some of those skills can be taught in a classroom, but I learned much more, and much more quickly, through experience.

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Sometimes work looks like the left, but more often like the right!

Authenticity is important to me; not in the sense of (over)-sharing every detail of my life, but I try to communicate in a genuine way that doesn’t misrepresent reality. All of that above looks and sounds very rosy, so in the authentic spirit, here are a few things I still find tough.

⛰️ I make my job up every day. Coaching isn’t a profession, as such (although I hope most of us try to work in a professional way), and it doesn’t have a blueprint for ‘how to do it’. When you work independently you don’t get many opportunities to learn by working alongside mentors and experts, so your learning is by experience and by reading, watching, listening (and thinking!). Sometimes I still second-guess whether I’m doing it ‘right’.

⛰️ sometimes there’s not much work, and sometimes there’s too much. I still tend to panic when the first happens and over-do it with the second.

⛰️ it’s often said that when you’re self-employed you have to be your own finance, HR and marketing departments. That’s true, although I’m mainly ok with those. What’s harder is not having colleagues around to pick me up on a bad day - on the days when I’ve messed something up and made mistakes, I’d love to have someone who could give me a hug, make me a cup of tea, and remind me of all the things I’ve done well.

⛰️ reflection is a key attribute of people who are expert in what they do, and I try to reflect, innovate and improve so I can become as expert as possible. But too much noticing what could be better can spiral into excessive self-doubt if I don’t take care to notice what’s gone well, too.

If it’s not too soppy, I’d like to end where I started - thank you to all of you. I’m humbled every day by the amount of positivity, support and love that comes my way from my community. Here’s to the next five years!